If I could do anything else for a living, I would walk. I see the world more clearly when I am walking. My thoughts are much better, I am more creative, and more peaceful. I notice the large things and the small ones. I see the past more clearly and the future more hopefully.

I love walking in places where I am familiar. I get to see new things that I had not noticed before. I notice the details. At night, I see how the light shines in the darkness, and see the same things differently than I do in the day. I wonder about the people in the homes, and pray for the families  on the street.

I love walking in new places. I like seeing something I’ve never seen before, for getting a new view of the world, for discovering something that may be old for others, but new for me.

I love discovering old paths, walking them and thinking about who has walked them before.

And I love walking, or making, new paths. To go where others may have looked, but not walked.

When I was 8 I would walk all over Inman. I would explore the well-known streets, go down the little side alleys, discover shortcuts through hedges. When I first moved to Florence, I walked all over town. For a while I was known to folks as the “walking preacher.” And I love James Taylor’s song “Walking Man.”

One of my fantasies is walking across South Carolina, starting at the state line at Tryon NC/Landrum SC, following US 176 as far as I could (Goose Creek r NOrth Charleston) then walking on out to Folly Beach. Maybe writing a story about it- about people and towns and history. Recollect times in my own life at various places along the path.

My grandfather, who loved to walk, once said that people (this was in the 1950s) saw the world through automobile windows. We don’t even see it that way anymore. We see it through electronic screens. Computers, phones, tablets, tvs. 

Sometimes, most times, I think I could walk forever.

And so the question comes to my mind, if I love walking so much, why don’t I do it more? Or at all? I seem to have stopped. And that is to my pain and detriment.

Jesus called his followers to walk with him. I hope I don’t stop that walk.

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“A scar is a mark left on the skin after a wound or injury has healed.” (from the website of the National Health Service, United Kingdom)

I have a number of scars on my body. Fortunately, most are not obvious. There is one on my right shin from where I stepped into an open clay pipe while running across a yard when I was a young teen. It actually tore away the skin and everything underneath down to the bone. There is a thin layer of skin covering the wound. It has no feeling. Perhaps the nerves were also severed.

There is also another one on my left leg from trying to jump over a barbed-wire fence back in those same festering teen years.

I used to have them across my face, due to an accident in that same time period. But thanks to a wonderful doctor in Macon, all but one small one on my upper lip, just below my nose, are gone.

Like most teens, I was not too careful.

I have two new ones, the result of surgery. One is a small one that goes down my sternum for a couple of inches. At the top it goes a little to the right. It is from the surgery that was done by another magnificent doctor to take care of my septic arthritis and sepsis in the chest cavity. With the little marks from where the stitches were, it looks like the Hebrew letter dalet – ד – which is often used for the word ‘door.’ The few times I have shown people the scar, I tell them it’s the door to my heart.

Right below it is a small round scar from the drainage tube that was in my chest. It is beginning to fade. Most scars do over time, but they never go away completely. Like the quote at the top of this, they are reminders of the body healing itself (often with the help of skilled people).

I’ve heard a lot about the scars on Jesus’ hands and feet. I’ve heard preachers use this phrase in sermons- “We will know him by the scars in his hands.” I’ve often sung songs and hymns in church that refer to his nail-scarred hands. I’ve been thinking about those lately.

Strangely enough, the Bible never refers to Jesus’ “nail-scarred hands.” The references to his hands after the resurrection are in Luke and John. He shows his hands and side to Thomas, both with open wounds, no scars. And he uses his hands, no mention of scars so probably still bloody, to bless his disciples before he leaves.

I think this is significant. If scars are a sign of healing, and the crucifixion of Jesus- the nails in his hands and feet- were to heal (save) the world from its sin, perhaps they have not healed because we have not healed. Even to this day, Jesus’ hands and feet, his head and side, are still bleeding.

It’s not surprising. Healing for humanity is an on-going work. And, after all, it is by his wounds, not his scars, we are healed.

 

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I don’t remember being baptized. It happened when I was an infant. My mother and father brought me to the altar at Inman Methodist Church and there the pastor asked them if they would raise me to come to know the love of God in Jesus Christ. They said they would. He asked the congregation if they would do everything in their power by God’s grace to help me come to know Jesus as my Lord and Savior. They sai they would. I know this happened because it is what we do in the church. Then he took the water, put it on my head, and said, “Michael Bernard, I baptize you in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.” ‘Ghost’ was the word used back in 1953. My parents made a promise; the church made a promise; and somewhere in the depths of Heaven, God made a promise. God’s promise was something like this- “I will love you with an everlasting love. With lovingkindness, I will draw you to me.” You can read that promise. It’s from God. It’s in the book of Jeremiah, chapter 31, verse 3.

That’s what Christian baptism is- a promise from God. There are other baptisms in the world, and there are other baptisms in the Bible. John’s baptism was a baptism of repentance for forgiveness of sin. But that’s an act of man. As Christians our sins are forgiven not because of our repentance, but because of Jesus dying on the cross for us. Look it up. 1 John 2:2 and 1 Corinthians 15:3 are good places to start. Christian baptism says this- “Jesus died for us even before we knew it (once again, look it up- Romans 5:8) and we’ll do everything it takes to help you come to know how special you are in Christ. One day, you’ll realize it and say ‘Yes!’ to what God has already said.”

So parents and aunts and uncles and grandparents and Sunday school teachers and preachers and neighbors spent lots of time helping me to understand that God loves me, that Christ died for me, and that I can live in his power. With me, it took lots of time.

And one day, when I was 14, it finally clicked. I finally knew. I remember praying “Jesus, I never knew that you loved me this much. Thank you! I’ll live the rest of my life for you.” (That’s a whole ‘nother story.) I had been drawn into God’s love by the power of his Spirit.  It had been there all along (that’s what the word ‘everlasting’ means), and now I knew it.

My parents had tried to keep their promise. The church had kept their promise. And most of all, God had kept, and keeps on keeping, his promise.

Some people tell me that I have not been truly baptized, because I didn’t have anything to do with it. But that’s what Christian baptism is al about. Jesus did it all. He has loved me with an everlasting love, and with lovingkindness, he has drawn me to him.

And if someone tells you that this ain’t baptism, they’re wrong. Because it’s not about us. It’s about God and Jesus. And thank God for that!

June 6 is the anniversary of D-Day, the day in 1944  (seventy-five years ago as of this writing) that 160,000 Allied troops landed along a 50 mile stretch of French beach held by the Nazis. More than 9,000 Allied soldiers were killed or wounded, but that day changed the course of the war, and of the world. History shows us that it was on that day that the war was won.

Although it was not until May 8, 1945, 11 months later, that the European front ended, and September 2 of that same year that Japan surrendered in the Pacific, both sides knew and began to act differently after June 6. The Allies began to plan and act as though they had won, and the Axis powers began to figure out how to best get out when defeated.

There were a lot of important battles between those dates, and a lot of pain and grief from them, but the war was won on June 6.

I think of the cross and Good Friday that way. The war against evil and pain and death was won on that day. When Christ said “It is finished,” the old kingdom was defeated and the new one, God’s kingdom of peace, justice, love was breaking in. Between Good Friday and the fulfillment of the kingdom of God, there are a lot of important battles, a lot of pain and grief, but we can (and should) live as though the victory has been won.

I have been watching the results of United Methodist Annual Conference meetings across the country, including my own beloved SC Annual Conference. I see something new taking place as people are electing folks to be delegates to General Conference. I see a new wind blowing, dare I say a Pentecostal wind, something of the Holy Spirit, through our gatherings. We are electing delegates who want to make the church open to all of God’s children, who want to see a revival of the warm-heart and willing hands faith in Jesus. I am seeing people repent of our exclusiveness, and pray, work, and celebrate a new kind of church.

What I see are lots of “little D-Days.” The war is not over, will not be for a while. And there will be lots of important battles to be won, and (unfortunately) there will be pain and grief.

But I am ready to live in a new way, the way of Christ. For he has removed all the dividing lines between us, and his victory is sure.

I am grateful for those who stormed the beaches 75 years ago. We owe them a debt we cannot repay. And I am grateful for those who are storming the fronts of exclusivity. Because of God’s Spirit working in you, the war may not be over, but it is won.

Bruce Springsteen’s first big hit, Hungry Heart, has been running through my mind lately. For those of you who are not over 50, it was released in 1980 on his album, The River. The lyrics deal with making some bad choices, continuing to make bad choices, and always ending up with a hungry heart. The music is pretty upbeat, contrasting with the lyrics. You can listen to it here.

Perhaps the reason the song keeps popping up is that I am also reading Geneen Roth’s Feeding the Hungry Heart. It came out in 1982, and I do not doubt she danced around her den singing Springsteen a couple of years before.

The title for the song (and maybe the book) come from Alfred, Lord Tennyson’s poem Ulysses. There is this wonderful line “For always roaming with a hungry heart” that speaks to never being filled.

The book is about compulsive eating.  Roth writes of our need to fill something that cannot be filled otherwise. Her opening chapter starts with these words- “You can never get enough of what you really don’t want.”

She mostly deals with people who are binge eaters. A gallon of ice cream covered with whipped cream, walnuts, and cherries at one sitting. Several packs of Oreos at once. A dozen or two donuts. And the associated guilt and shame that usually follows. She says that we are trying hard to love ourselves, and we don’t know how. There is aching inside that, while it cannot be filled with food, it can be silenced for a while. But until the hungry heart is satisfied, the hungry stomach never will be.

St. Augustine wrote in the fourth century, “Our hearts are restless until they rest in you.” Referring to God. Evangelists in the 1960s and 70s, the age of psychological fulfillment, would say that our hearts had a God-shaped hole that nothing else could fill.

But what about those who do know Christ? Have asked him to come into their lives, forgive their sin, lead them to new life? Those who seek to follow him every day, to be his body in the world today?

I ask this question because I am a follower of Jesus, yet I have a hungry heart. Both in the Springsteen and Roth modes. While I have made some bad choices in the past, hurt myself and others, I am trying to not continue down those paths. And, by the grace of God and with the support of good friends and spouse, I am stumbling towards the goal.

I do not binge eat like the clients in Roth’s book, at least not anymore. But I eat. A lot. That is, if I am sitting down and there is food, it is about to be eaten. I’m not hungry. But put me in front of a tv, in a movie theatre, or just sitting on the back porch pondering the goodness of life, and there will be calories consumed.

During this season of Lent, I have been taking time each day to do some deeper self- examination. This is one I have been looking at (and singing about) for the last week. What am I trying to fill? And why don’t I stop when I realize it will never be filled? At least not by food.

There’s a great scene in the movie High Fidelity. John Cusack, who runs a record store, keeps sabotaging relationships with one woman to move on to the next. He stops for one second and yells “Why do I keep doing this?!!!”

Springsteen says

“Everybody needs a place to rest
Everybody wants to have a home
Don’t make no difference what nobody says
Ain’t nobody like to be alone.”

And maybe that’s what I need to remember. I am not alone.

O God, feed my hungry heart.

 

There are many things, disciplines, we can use to help us grow in our spiritual life. Worship, prayer, serving others, fellowship just to name a few. Essential for our growth in Christ is taking time alone with him. Just you and Jesus. It’s not the only thing we need to do in order to grow, but it is perhaps the most essential. Just as you and your spouse cannot grow closer to each other if you are never alone together, you cannot grow closer to Jesus if you are never alone with him.

I know there are many reasons people use to say they do not do that. That’s for another column, though. In this one, I want to give you some practical tips on how to grow in your time alone with Jesus.

I share these from a lifetime of successes and failures. Sometimes I have been consistent, and sometimes I have let other things crowd out this important one. It’s a good thing our God is always a God of second chances. And third. And fourth….

Here are some practical things you can do.

First, set aside some time when you know you can be alone with Jesus. For most of us, it’s in the morning. Early morning. Before the kids get up, before the emails and texts start coming in. Before the day begins. I know some people are “night” people.  But I have found that most folks who wait to spend that time at night with Christ rarely do. Or when they do, they tend to fall asleep. Getting up early in the morning may mean planning so you can go to sleep earlier in the evening. I have had to train myself to do this. I am not a natural early morning riser. And I love to stay up late. But early morning, even for me at this point in my life, is better. If you can do it better later in the day, and stay consistent in it, go for it. But I recommend early morning.

Second, set aside a place where you can read, think, study, pray, and not be disturbed. I have a bedroom-turned-into-a-study. Might be a kitchen table. Or maybe a corner in the den. Having a consistent place, and a place where you can get your materials together easily every day, will make it easier for you to do this. I do not recommend the bed. Falling asleep is just too easy there.

Third, be there. I read this recently- “Wherever you are, be there.” Have you ever known someone who was in the room with you, but you knew their mind was somewhere else? It’s really easy to become that person- thinking about what’s coming up next, who you’re going to see, what you need to do. I keep a little pad of Post-It notes on my desk. Whenever anything comes into my mind that I may need to remember later, I quickly scribble it onto the Post-It and put it aside. At first my desk was littered with Post-Its, but now I usually have only one or two. I think I have trained my mind to “be there.”

Fourth, start with a prayer. I write mine because I think better when writing. You may want to try that. I just start telling Jesus what’s on my mind- what I am grateful for, concerns I have, requests for guidance, questions. Whatever is on my heart and mind goes into the prayer. Sometimes it sounds really holy and fancy, but most times it’s just me writing out my thoughts to Jesus.

Fifth, read Scripture. I recommend getting a Bible that you can read easily and you do not mind marking in. And I recommend having a system or plan for reading. Some people like to just open the Bible to random spots and “see what the Lord is telling me today.” Which, to me, is sort of like walking into the pantry, closing your eyes, reaching onto the shelf, and eating whatever can you pick up. You may get something from it, but in the long run, it’s not very nutritious. Find a plan that helps you move through the Bible at your own speed. The Bible is not a novel. I do not recommend trying to read it like one. If you start at Genesis and try to read straight through, you’re probably going to bog down after Exodus. I have tried many reading plans. Here’s one that I recommend –https://www.biblica.com/resources/reading-plans/ If you use the Bible App, here’s a page with theirs. https://www.biblegateway.com/reading-plans/?version=NIV I also recommend that whatever plan you use, make sure it focuses on Jesus. He is the author and source of our faith, and if we focus on something else, we can often miss what God wants us to know and to be.

My particular pattern right now is to read a Psalm (going through them one a day, except Psalm 119, which I will divide into several days), then a chapter from an Old Testament book (I go through the whole book a chapter at a time), followed by some readings in the Gospels (I read through each one a few verses at a time), and then from one of the other New Testament books. If you do not have the time like I do at the moment, read the Gospels, then the letters of Paul. Those are what define us. As Christians, they are ours.

Sixth, write what you read means to you. Any new insight, question, or idea from the readings. Keeping a journal of this helps you to see where you have grown and what you have learned. If you read something that you do not understand, write the question down and later look it up. Talk to someone who knows the Scriptures; look it up on the internet. Though, I do not recommend that you take the time to look up things immediately. We are far too easily distracted when we turn on our computer. Email, Facebook, and other things draw us in so quickly.

Seventh, read something that will build you up spiritually. It may be a daily devotional, like the Upper Room, or a book of them like Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. It could be a topical book or a spiritual autobiography. It’s good to read what others have found.

Eighth, spend some time quietly sitting. Some folks call this meditation, some call it listening prayer. Research shows that people who do this for only 5 minutes every morning hare more productive, have less stress, and are more creative, regardless of their faith. For those of us who are Jesus followers, it gives us a chance to listen. Keep that pad of Post-Its available. Things will come to jot down.

Ninth, do this alone but find some other person or group to regularly meet with to discuss and share what God is telling you. We come to Christ as individuals, but we become part of a larger body when we come to him. We are not meant to follow him all alone. As a matter of fact, we cannot. We are part of his body.

Well, that’s it. The most important part is to start. Let’s do it.

What would you add?

I’m for you!

 

Michael