Long Nights – A Meditation on Psalm 131

I read a psalm every morning as part of my morning prayers. I go through them starting at 1 and ending at 150 and then starting at 1 again. I was up early this morning (December 20, 2022), before the sun came up, reading Psalm 131. Here’s the text:

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up;
    my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things
    too great and too marvelous for me.
But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
    like a weaned child with its mother;
    my soul is like the weaned child that is with me.

O Israel, hope in the Lord
    from this time on and forevermore.

This psalm may be perfect for today and tomorrow- the longest nights of the year. There is a sadness in this psalm. The author does not raise their eyes too high.; they do not think about things ‘too great and too marvelous.’

Instead, they sit in quietness and calm. The author uses the metaphor “like a child weaned from its mother” and goes on to say that their soul is like a “weaned child that is with me.”

When a child is weaned, when they no longer feed on their mother’s milk, something of the intimate bond between the mother and child is broken. The love and need each have for the other is there, but the nourishment for the child comes from somewhere else. While it is necessary, it can be a disquieting time.

For many, these long nights can be hard. Missing loved ones who have died, seeing dreams you had for this past year not come to be, watching your body become less responsive to health, feeling the pain of broken relationships, and often acknowledging your own culpability in hurting yourself and others. All the while the rest of the world seems to be lifting their eyes high, gazing on things great and marvelous. Our soul seems disconnected from us. It sits beside us, on the couch, not saying anything, just looking ahead.

The psalmist does not abandon us there. “O Israel” the psalm continues. ‘Israel’ literally means ‘one who struggles with God.’ That’s us. From time to time we all struggle with God. We want to know why things are the way they are, and if they will always be that way. The psalmist says, “You who struggle with God, hope in the Lord…” Hope is not wishful thinking. It is not fanciful desires. It is not shaking the small box under the Christmas tree and saying “I hope it’s a bicycle.” Hoping in the Lord is placing your trust in something….someone….you cannot see, and moving forward as best you can.

Are you struggling this season? Does your soul seem to be separated from you? Are you struggling with God? That’s okay. Do not despair. Hope in the Lord from this time on. And forevermore.