Almost every Sunday I ask if there are any “prayer concerns” from the congregation. (I can do that because my congregations are small. Larger churches do it but in other areas- small groups, Sunday school classes, etc. And, like most places, people mention others- friends, families, community members who have special needs. Healing, comfort, peace. Occasionally reconciliation. They also mention larger issues. The need for rain in our communities in South Carolina, too much rain in the Midwest and Florida. War in Ukraine and Israel and Gaza. Gun violence…well…everywhere.

Rarely do they ask for prayer for themselves, but it does happen from time to time. “I’m having surgery…. I need a job…. My child is travelling off to college….” I’m not a fan of “unspoken prayer requests.” You do not know how to pray, what to pray. It reminds me of someone who may be hurting or mad but will not tell you why. It also reminds me of seeing people years ago on the “Christian TV” shows where they would have a huge pile of written prayer requests on a desk or table, the preacher would lay his hand on them and say something like “Lord, you know all these requests. Meet the needs of these brothers and sisters.” Later they would say, we prayed for 1200 people today. To me, that is like putting my hands on a globe and saying, “Lord, fix this place,” and then proclaiming that I have prayed for over eight billion people. (And I did it without mentioning a single name.)

I have been in smaller groups where people did pray for themselves. Most often it was for “things”- healing, comfort, guidance, peace. All good gifts from the Giver of Good Gifts. But after a while, it seems we do not go any further. Our prayers become a “shopping list” at the Divine Supermarket. (By the way, years ago Larry Bryant wrote a song with that title. Others have recorded it, but his version is the best. It will make you laugh, and probably make you uncomfortable, too. Here’s a link.)

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said “Ask, and it will be given to you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.” (Matthew 7:7-8) Most people see that as Jesus saying the same thing three times- that is, ask, seek, and knock are all the same. Andrew Murray, in his classic With Christ in the School of Prayer, says that they are three different things.

Asking is requesting something- a gift. Healing, food, comfort, peace. The emphasis is on the gift. Seeking is looking for a person. Most of the instances of the word seek in the Bible refers to seeking God (“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with your whole heart.”- Jeremiah 29:13; “Seek the Lord while he may be found.”- Isaiah 55:6; etc.). Seeking moves towards the Divine Being rather than the gift. I believe even Jesus’ teaching to “seek first the kingdom of God and God’s righteousness” refers to being in relationship with God. And knocking, according to Murray, is a form of entering into a dwelling with another. You knock on the door, it is opened, and you go in. It is dwelling or living with the one you have sought.

It seems to me that these three point towards a movement towards intimacy. We move from the gift to the giver, to being in a relationship with the giver.

For many of us, our prayer life has stayed at the ask phase. Maybe it is time for us to move a little closer.