That well-known poem by the reclusive poet of Amherst has popped up on several sites, along with commentary from most folks. In case you are not familiar with it, here it is-
If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain; If I can ease one life the aching, Or cool one pain, Or help one fainting robin Unto his nest again, I shall not live in vain.
It may be one of the most quoted poems by preachers, surpassed only by the one about the old man and the violin (The Touch of the Master’s Hand by Myra Brooks Welch). By the way, Dickinson did not title the poem, nor most of her 1800 poems we have knowledge of. She simply wrote them in her (for the time) unusual style.
I understand the meaning and the sentiment, but I have begun to think she might have been, if not wrong, at least not open to a wider understanding of the human soul.
The poem begins by protecting what we think of as fragile, the human heart. The heart, our metaphorical one, as well as our physical one, is actually strong. We think of it as fragile because it hurts so much when it does have problems. And I am not sure any of us can protect someone from having a broken heart. It is in the very brokenness of our hearts, minds, souls, bodies that we are most human. It is the thing that binds us together and causes us to support one another, to stand up against injustice, and to work for the inclusion of all people.
I dare say that none of us know what it is like to go through life never having our heart touched and hurt. And, if we are honest, we also admit that we ourselves have been the cause of someone else’s heartbreak. Realization of the first- our own heartbreak- keeps us connected to the rest of humanity. Realization of the second- our agency in breaking someone else’s heart- should drive us to our knees and to humility. I’ve seen lots of people admit the first. Few the second. But those who do somehow come out on the other side with a heart of flesh, not stone.
My heart has been hurt a few times. So I hurt when others hurt, and cry when I see others cry. And, unfortunately, I have been the cause of a few heartbreaks myself. Which, as I continue to learn, keeps me more aware of that side of me and hopefully prevents me from doing it again.
If we cannot prevent hearts from being broken, maybe a better hope would that we would walk with a person through their brokenness, to let them know that they are not alone, to help them find someone they can lean on. The older I get, the more I realize I cannot fix anyone. And maybe I shouldn’t be trying to. But I can walk with you, listen, and keep you connected to the world where there is a coming out on the other side.
Another more contemporary poet and musician, but like Dickinson somewhat of a recluse, put it this way- “Don’t mind if I fall apart, there’s more room in a broken heart.” (Carly Simon, Coming Around Again).
Michael Henderson 